Family Blessings

I am in Dawsonville, GA this weekend with most of my immediate family minus my Chad and my dad but all my sisters and their families are here along with my brother and his family and my grandparents. We also have five generations here this time too, the last time we had five generations was when my great grandma was still alive. Our number will total more than 30 when we add in all the boyfriends and girlfriends.

What I love most about my family is that years and years can pass and we won't see each other and then we'll get together and it's like no time at all has passed. The ease, the comfort with each other is still there and I look at them all and marvel that this is my family and that these are the people that I get to call my own while we are here on earth. Seeing them play with my kids, seeing their kids growing up and meeting the people that they will start their families with and being able to remember the announcement of their conception and that time they spit up on me or when I walked them around and around our house when I was 12 and helping my mom babysit.

I love my family so much and miss them when I am away from them. But this weekend I'm going to enjoy every single one of them and appreciate what they add to my life. And when I say goodbye I'm going to cry but I'll know that the next time I see them I will hug them and be right back in the familiarity that is family.

Do y'all ever stop to think about circumstances surrounding bothersome incidents in your life? Last week my car battery died and I mean that thing was deader than a doornail. It happened on Friday morning around 11:30 in the morning. And it sucked! I had planned a fun day of shopping with my mom and Matthew and Austin and we had just finished our first stop and when we got to the car it was dead. So, I had to run in and find someone to tow us and then we had to go to Wal-Mart and get a new battery and just made it to pick up Morgan from school without being too late. It also put us back $120.

But...the week before we would not have had that $120 in the bank. Period. No credit, no help from parents, nothing. We couldn't have paid for it. But this week, we had a cushion to help out and it didn't set us back too badly.

And...I had also worked all that week and it didn't die on me at 7:00 at night when I got off work or at 2:00 in the afternoon when Morgan needed to be picked up so that means that it wouldn't have been a mad rush to get me home from work to pick him up or have Chad load up all three boys in a car with not enough car seats to come and get me.

I really appreciate the fact that even in the little things God helps out. Because they say that there are no coincidences and this is just too coincidental for me!!

I'm missing my old life...

It was so nice to putter around all day with the kids and visit all my online blogging friends every spare minute I had! But, I'm finally feeling like my life is adjusting to the new normal of me working full time. I still really like my job and I'm making some new friends. None that I would hang out with outside of work since most of them are in their early 20s but the socializing at work is enough for me.

I don't have anything to say, I just wanted to touch base with my regular readers and tell you I'm still here!

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!

I seriously could not be any happier. :)

I know I've been a slacker...

I've been looking for work. Online all day sending out resumes and calling people...ugh, is there anything worse?? But...today I have an interview at a bookstore. I WANT this job! Please send up a prayer today that this is where God wants me to be. Because I really want to be there!

Lessons from the kitchen table...

I named this blog for my Grandpa. About 10 years ago, I would go over to his house every Tuesday night and we would go through the Scripture line by line and we would discuss each passage. He gave me insights that he had learned through years of study. Insights that always made such perfect sense to me. I was thumbing through my bible looking for a verse that would set me off on a tangent that I could translate to a blog entry and instead I started noticing all the notes I had. Of course, I was in Romans and anyone who knows Foy Martin, knows that Romans is his favorite book. He's the one that first explained grace to me. Anyway, so I thought I'd write about my notes.

I'll start with Romans 3:23-24, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by his grace, through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Grandpa told me that justified meant "just as if I had not sinned". So basically those verses mean that we all have sinned but with God's grace, those sins are gone as if they had never happened.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produce perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:1-5. That's just a really good verse!

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39. Although I do believe that the one thing that can separate us is ourselves. We can choose to not accept that love.

To be continued...

Collectivism

Collectivism is a term used to describe any moral, political, or social outlook, that stresses human interdependence and the importance of a collective, rather than the importance of separate individuals. Collectivists focus on community and society, and seek to give priority to group goals over individual goals. The philosophical underpinnings of collectivism are often related to holism or organicism - the view that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Specifically, a society as a whole can be seen as having more meaning or value than the separate individuals that make up that society. (Wikipedia)

I agree with this line of thought. Think about a society on a much smaller scale, your family. What's more important? That you or your husband or your children are happy or that the whole is happy? I know that means compromise and someone not being happy 100% of the time but the goal is to make sure that everyone is happy. I've seen the Nanny 911 shows where from the outside the kids are having a ball because they rule the roost but when you delve deeper, the whole family is miserable so what has to happen for happiness? The parents have to stand up and consistently work on the kids setting boundaries, following through, etc. And the kids? They are just generally unhappy because while their little minds crave boundaries, having to actually live in them is another story. So what's better for the family? Thinking only of yourself and being miserable or thinking of others and being happy? I would think that's a no-brainer but obviously after watching SuperNanny and Nanny 911 and shows like that, today's family has not one clue how to do that. How to put others above themselves. It's that verse again, isn't it?!?

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Philippians 2:3-4

I belong to a public group who interacts through a message board and one of those message boards is called Hot Topics. The kind of topics that will create a debate and once I discovered that place, I was hooked!! I love debating! I love getting the different insights into different topics and the topic that brought about this whole entry on my blog was about legalizing prostitution. I was just going through in my mind the reasons people had for legalizing it and I came to this conclusion, if we treat people as bodies or entities then we don't have to worry about their soul. And for right now, I'm not talking about the soul that needs to turn to Jesus, I'm talking about the flame that makes us who we are. Yes, by all means let's legalize prostitution and let's let generations of women know that we don't care what they do to their bodies, our job is to only make sure they are disease free. We don't care about the spirit. What about abortion? That's another spirit killer that we've legalized. Thousands of women every day go and abort their children because all we care about is that it's their body and their choice. We don't care that they are cutting out a piece of their heart that they may never get back. We have to care about others because they don't care about themselves!! Don't you think that's why Jesus went to the woman by the well? Who else was going to talk to her about Him? What about the woman who was going to be stoned? Jesus came to her because NO ONE else would have. We have to put others above ourselves. We have to try to take care of the ones who can't take care of themselves.

I know it's so hard to do that but you know, small steps lead to bigger steps. I took a small step yesterday and I didn't do it so I could point out what a great Christian wife I was, I did it because that's what my God wanted me to do.

Okay, I think this post is getting away from me because I can't gather my thoughts anymore, they've splintered off into 20 different directions and I've noticed that the more I get into God's word, that that's what happens!

A Valuable Lesson

I had a new experience this weekend both as a Christian and as a wife. I submitted to my husband on a choice that I didn't agree with but I knew that I didn't have a choice if I want to live the way I want to as a Christian. I'm not going to go into the whys and whatnot but I will just say that he feels one way and I feel the polar opposite. And I was mad and my feelings were hurt and I wanted him to know every feeling I had. But I knew that I didn't want him to change his mind to make me happy. I knew that he wouldn't ask me to do something unless he felt strongly about it and just because I don't feel the way he does doesn't make his feelings any less. I felt like I had a very valid argument about why I should be able to continue what I was doing and I informed him of some of them but he remained firm in his opinion and that's when I knew I had to submit. I whined about it for a while and this morning when I woke up and still felt incredibly resentful, it came down to realizing how incredibly selfish I was being. I knew that what we were disagreeing on was in no way more important than him and I was placing more importance on something than it deserved. I knew that God could change my heart on this if I asked him too and I did and He did. And in a heartbeat all my anger, my resentment was gone. In a heartbeat. One minute I was crying and feeling so sorry for myself and the next I felt totally at peace with it all. It's not about wanting my way, it's about putting Chad's feelings over my wants. And his feelings will win out every single time.

For Heather...

I hate that I have to be a part of something like this but at the same time it warms my heart when a community rallies together to help a friend in need. I'm not a close friend to Heather but she is one of the co-founders of the Moms of Grace website that I found a couple of months ago that has been such an asset to my life. If you go here you can read about Heather's story from her blog and if you click on the button it will take you to the blog that is raising money to help Heather out. Please, on April 18 (that's next Wednesday) if you can spare anything it would be such a blessing to Heather and her family. I am challenging all my readers to donate at least $1. Everybody can afford $1 and together it adds up to so much!! It would also be wonderful if we could raise Heather and her family up in prayer every chance we get. Thanks.

Grace Based Parenting

I finished this book last night and if you are a parent, I urge you to go get it and read it yourself!! I just have to get down a couple of points that I felt were so important.

• He defines love as "the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests, regardless of the cost." He then goes on to say that when we are talking to people we love that our honesty must be delivered with its effect on the other person in mind. Grace requires that we deliver words about touchy subjects with a commitment to help - even heal- the other person. And that it works both ways - that we speak this way to our children and that we let them speak this way to us. (italics are passages straight from the book)

What I love about this book is that it teaches us how to be grace based Christians on top of being grace based parents. We should do this with everyone not just our kids but it's so important that we do treat our kids with grace. We are such a huge influence on our children just think of the influence we'll have on them if they know first hand how much difference the grace of God makes in their life.

• Another thing I really liked was this quote by Dr. Dan Allender about dishonesty... "Because dishonesty, or living a in denial, is actually an attempt to dethrone God. It is an attempt to become as God with the power to construct the world and reality according to our desire...God does not play by our rules nor resolve our wound and ache as we desire; therefore, we leave God's world and create one that is more palatable to our taste, even if it robs us of life and love."

Wow.

I love stuff that I can tuck away in the back of my mind and pull out when I need it and this book is full of that. It makes me want to treat everyone I know with grace and I know that's what God wants for me too.

Some more thoughts on Grace...

I came to a realization today. Do you know why we can be gracious to people and put them above ourselves? Because we are children of the King and we are already so highly valued by God that it just adds to our value when we act like him. One very important thing to remember when we read Phillipians 2:3-4 that says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." is that we in no way lower ourselves or our worth when we do this. Do you think Jesus thought of himself as less than us when He died for our sins? Of course not. I'm just saying that we can't use this verse and let ourselves be doormats or allow others to tell us that it demeans us to consider others better than us. In our society today, this mindset is totally foreign and I don't want to stumble because Satan tells me that I should look out for myself because no one else will. Well, I have God looking out for me when I strive to do His will so I think I can be satisfied with that!!

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
Ephesians 5:1-2 The Message

Isn't that beautiful? His love was not cautious but extravagant. I looked up the meaning of extravagant and it said, "going beyond what is deserved or justifiable" Sounds like grace again, huh? The creator of the Universe didn't love us to get something from us but to give his whole self to us. How lucky are we?

I'm really thankful today amid all the Easter eggs and chocolate and baskets that I can tell my children that Jesus died for me and for them and that today we get to celebrate his resurrection. I am 35 years old and this is the first Easter that has really resonated in me - where I have been aware that today is the day Jesus conquered death.

I just praise God for all his blessings.

Grace

I wish that churches taught about grace more than sin. Or that when people talked about Christians it was about how graceful they are instead of how judgemental. I'm reading a book right now called Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel. The premise is to treat our children the way Jesus treats us. But of course, I got to thinking and I'm just gonna let my thoughts wander.

Grace is defined as the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. Unmerited means that we don't deserve it. Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." That's grace, that's like having your child spit in your face and you reach down and grab him and hug him and tell him you love him. We do it because we love them and so we won't go to prison for child abuse!!

But seriously, I'm really striving to be graceful to everyone. It's hard though, I get annoyed at little things that my kids do and snap at them. I get my feelings hurt by my husband and pull the old, "What's wrong, honey?" "Oh, nothing" dialogue when it's more than obvious there is something wrong. I get mad and feel justified at letting my words fly. But Phillipians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (emphasis mine) Now the Christians that are reading this are nodding their head and going, "that's right, that's right" but if you don't believe then you may be reading this going, "What?? Why should I consider others better than me? They aren't better than me!" But you know what? If everybody did that, then you would have everyone you know and interact with on a daily basis looking out for your interests. Your husband, your kids and your friends. Ahhhh...kinda makes it sound better, doesn't it?! It does to me too! And the neat thing about it is people mimic the people around them, so maybe if I go into it with the attitude that if I change, I can cause positive change in those around me it won't seem so hard.

Happy Easter!

I remember listening to this over and over again in high school and it's just as powerful now as it was then. I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do.

Why?

Don't call me Naomi, " she told them. "Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.
Ruth 1:20

I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me. You turn on me ruthlessly; with the might of your hand you attack me.
You snatch me up and drive me before the wind; you toss me about in the storm.
I know you will bring me down to death, to the place appointed for all the living.
Job 30:20-23

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.
Psalm 22:1-2

What do you think when you read these verses? Do you think, "Man, what a bunch of crybabies! They need to suck it up and move on." or "Wow, I wonder what they've gone through to have such heartache." I think the latter. I know a lot of people think the former, that we shouldn't question God, that we should just accept everything on this Earth meekly and deal with it the best we can and move on. But, I don't think so.

In these instances, Naomi was telling her hometown that she had come back because her husband and two sons were dead and that her daughter in law was gone. She had left full and had come home empty. Think about that, your family of six has been brought down to two, I think she had every reason to feel bitter. Look at Job, he had lost everything, his children, his wealth, his health and while he never did turn his back on God, he did ask him why?? And David in Psalm 22, is crying to the Lord because he has fallen under attack after attack from enemies that God has not saved him from. These people, who God looked favorably upon all have very valid reasons to feel angry and wounded and ask their God WHY?? Why should we feel any different and why should we not be allowed to do the same?

I'm not saying wallow in your grief, I'm not saying that you should dwell on it forever, I'm saying that God has allowed us to question Him and not feel ashamed or scared. We can come before Him and ask why. But, I've come to realize that the only answer you will get is, Because I'm God. And that's enough. That's all we need to know because we have these promises,

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.
Deuteronomy 7:9

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12

Before, when people have asked why, I've always wondered why not? But, I've come to realize that if you are a child of God, it's because God is at work in your life. Who knows what Heaven holds for the mother who has had to bury a child? Who knows what's to come for the widow who has to bury a husband? Who knows how many people a recovered drug addict can lead to God? God does and we may find out in this world or in the next but we can be assured that any pain we live with today will lead to blessing after blessing tomorrow.

Internet Evangelism

My mother in law called me with wonderful news last night, a reader of her blog got baptized yesterday and it was because of her blog that it happened. She commented a couple of months ago on it, asking questions and Neva set her up with a church in her hometown and then she got the good news on Sunday. How fantastic this is!! How awesome to see God at work on the INTERNET!! I mean, can you imagine that conversation between God and Satan?

God: So, there's this new thing called the World Wide Web
Satan: Yeah, I'm so excited!! I'll be able to spread hatred and porn all over the world in 0.04 seconds!!
God: Funny, I was thinking that my children will be able to spread the Word that much faster.

Isn't it crazy that when God created KSL (the reader), He knew that she would learn about Him through the Internet. He put Neva's blog in her path when He knew she needed it. It just makes blogging about our faith bigger somehow, you know? I mean, who knows who's reading.

Congratulations to KSL and her husband again! I'm so thankful that you are a part of our family!

Update on Chad and another lesson learned.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

Okay, I have to say that I totally understand this verse but at the same time how do you prepare for the future if you don't think about tomorrow?? Or since I have not one idea what the future holds no matter what I think it holds, I should just live for today, right? I think actually that is the way it should be.

We found out yesterday that Chad won't leave for Iraq until probably August or September. The crew that went out this six months left yesterday. Yeah, he had his phone interview yesterday and they called him and said, "okay you need to be here at 2pm if you are going with us." This was at 10:30. Umm...didn't happen. Which after a little bit of disappointment because I'm being honest, I was looking forward to the money that could have paid some big bills, I'm glad that it worked out this way. I know without a doubt that it will work out, I just feel so wishy washy when I say, okay this is the way it is and then a week later go, okay, no this is the way it is! If you go down about three posts about Change is in the Air, a lot of that is now void but I still need to pray and lean on God so the important lessons I learned are still valid, they are just pointed in another direction.

I have never felt like clay so much as I do right now. I feel like I am totally at the mercy of God. Which I know is a good thing but for someone who likes (okay LOVES) to have control of a situation, it's hard. I want to know what tomorrow brings and I want to know now but that's not the way God is, he wants me to concentrate on right now because I can only be the person he wants me to be if I'm in the here and now. I have to be focused on Him and not the future. Man, I never thought of it like that but if my eyes are on the future than they aren't where they should be...on Him. So, even if I'm trying to grow in the Lord, he wants me growing TODAY, not tomorrow, not in the next six months, he wants me concentrated on today.

Okay, God....I hear you!

Wow.

“I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” (Matt. 25:40 NLT).

How we treat others is how we treat Jesus.
-Max Lucado

When I read this, I cried. I get so impatient and so frustrated with my kids that I sometimes say stuff to them that I would never dream say to anyone else. If Jesus was standing in front of me taking forever and a day to get something done would I say something ugly to him? Of course not and I'm so guilty of that. I want so much to be patient and gracious and yet it seems that every time I turn around there is something there that just annoys me to no end.

Ugh...Thank God I have the opportunity to say I'm sorry and try again.

Just a quick note...

If you like to read this blog, I also have another one on my profile that's more of a day to day, casual one. Thanks!

Change is in the air.

Isn't it weird when an event here and an event there comes together and forms something that shows you once again that God is in complete control? Chad has a job opportunity that after days of prayer and talking and prayer and talking we have decided that we can't pass up. It involves Chad being gone for a year with a month off half way through. I was all excited because my sister was gonna come up and stay with me and take a load off but God has shown me that He has other plans for me. She won't be here until August which means that I'll have roughly four months with just my boys and I. Other than knowing I will miss Chad with an intensity that I am not real excited about facing, I am excited about the changes that God has in store for me. I feel like He has been preparing me for this for the last couple of months, without even knowing that it would lead to this.
I know that God is going to help me become a better Christian because I'm going to be leaning on him for everything. He has shown me that I have got to pray more because I'll be doing a while lotta praying in the next year. He has led me to lessons on grace because I will have to show grace to my husband and my kids in the next year and show them that we can get through anything if we put God first.
I know that God is going to help me become a better mother. I'm not gonna get a whole lot of breaks in the next year from my boys and instead of fretting and whining about it, I'm going to revel in the fact that I get to be with them. I am going to pray for them and with them and let them know that there is nowhere I'd rather be than with them.
I know that God is going to make my marriage stronger. Chad and I have such a precious bond right now and while I know it's going to change, I know that with God's help, it's gonna change for the better.
The next year could go in two different directions, either up or down and I will not go down. I will not fail my husband, my kids or my Lord by dwelling on the negative because with His help the next year will change us all for the better.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:11

Okay, I FINALLY got it!

I was in the Enrichment program when I was in elementary school but I think once I hit junior high, all bets were off. I'm quick to learn but when I have a thought in my head it takes a long time before I can even entertain that just because it's MY thought, doesn't necessarily make it right.

So anyway, my latest pet peeve has been ignorant people. People who spout off about things and I think, "Are you kidding me?? Do you hear yourself?" And for the last little while, I have felt like it was my God given duty to set these people straight. And I get so frustrated because they don't listen!! I mean, my own kids hardly listen to me and I expect strangers on the Internet to go, "man, thanks for that, you have truly set my path straight!" (Okay, I don't really expect that but it would be nice to hear from time to time.)

But today I had an epiphany and please don't laugh because I know God has us learn things on our own schedule so we really learn it but just because y'all learned when you were five doesn't make my learning it any less special! I'm supposed to pray for people! Especially the ones that really annoy me, the ones I want to really say not nice things too. I need to give them to God in prayer because obviously, my way doesn't work as well as His does!

So...that's what I'm gonna try to do is really seriously pray about anything and everything I feel the need too. I'm not a real good prayer to start with, it's hard for me to remember to pray a lot of the time and I know that to get closer to my God, I need to take more time to talk to Him.

So, if you could, could you pray for me?

**I know this post is silly but it really was a serious revelation for me, I just had a big Duh! moment when I realized it.
***I also knew to pray for people but the concept of praying for them whenever I thought about how much they irritated me was part of my revelation.

I am...

I am the fifth child born to a mom and the fourth child born to a dad who came together to have their first child in me.
I am the little girl who loved to read no matter what it was and remember reading Danny and the Dinosaur sitting on my grandma's lap.
I am the little girl who played for hours on rocks outside our house pretending to be Ayla the cavewoman. (I told you I'd read anything!)
I am the little girl who sat on the playground with another little girl and pledged to be friends forever and we still are.
I am the young lady who loved Drama and was the lead in my ninth grade play.
I am the young lady who wanted so badly to have a boyfriend but never found the right one.
I am the young woman who thought she had found the right one in high school.
I am the young woman who gave college a try but just couldn't do it.
I am the woman who tried a lot of different jobs before finding my perfect niche in childcare.
I am the woman who cried over the body of an elderly man who had died in a tornado in the town where I was on the Volunteer Fire Department.
I am the woman who set off cross country with my mom and little sister to find a new start in Oregon.
I am the woman who resigned herself to being single.
I am the woman who fell madly in love with a man who is seven years younger than me.
I am the woman who was lucky enough to find a man who always wanted to be a dad.
I am the woman who is the mother of three beautiful boys.
I am the mother who tries so hard to be a good mom and falls short all the time.
I am the mother who gets up and tries again.
I am the wife, the mother, the sister, the daughter, the friend of so many people who make my life complete and I am who I am because of them.
I am God's favorite child and He has showered me with blessing after blessing.

Who are you?

Thank you Larissa!

I went to my sister in law's blog this morning and received an unexpected gift. She had a link on her blog to Faith Lifts and from there I found Moms of Grace which I joined and have already gone on a posting spree this morning. Plus, they have bible studies which I've already tried to start but with the kids running around, it's not been a good time to meditate on it. And I ordered a book called "Queen of the Castle: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker" which I can't wait to get and have even more time for me!

I'm so glad that she had that link on her site. I feel like these sites will open up a whole new world for me online that I've been wanting to pursue but haven't been able to find. I can't wait to soak it all in!

Free Will

The doctrine that the conduct of human beings expresses personal choice and is not simply determined by physical or divine forces.

I've been wondering lately about free will. I came to a conclusion today that changed the way I had thought about an issue for many years. It was about abortion and I was always against abortion but always figured that women should have the right to choose. I mean, if God gave us Free Will, shouldn't we allow others to have it? But then that is a slippery slope because that could trickle down to murderers being able to murder because they are exercising their free will. So I was talking to my mom and she said that murder should never be a choice. Good point. So, when I came on here to wonder about free will, I remembered something my mother in law had told me that someone had told her. We, as Christians should be the light that shows the way. A guiding light, a gentle light. One that doesn't blind but one that is bright enough to see. So, people can have their free will but if I'm asked, I will definitely shine my light in the direction that God points me.

"In the same way, let your light shine in front of others. Then they will see the good things you do. And they will praise your Father who is in heaven. "
Matthew 5:16

Two in One Day!

Yesterday in honor of President's Day, Morgan asked me why somebody shot and killed President Abraham Lincoln.

Good question and how do you answer that one? I just told him that someone felt that they had the right to take his life because they didn't like what he had to say. And then it hit me. Even murder is plain old selfishness. Someone thinks they have the right to decide that they get to take someone else's life. I always felt murder is akin to evil (which it is) but I've never realized that it is also akin to selfishness. When we put ourselves first, we can justify anything. I don't know my bible well enough but I wonder if Satan is ever called the God of Self because isn't that just what he is? Doesn't everything he stands for revolve around self? And now, I feel like society is getting to believe in that. Moreso now than ever. There was at least a cover of common decency or shame back in the day but now that's gone. It's all good if it's all about you and you better not say anything otherwise. It's that searing of the conscience, I think.

I just hope that more and more people realize that this is the direction society is going and this is what our kids are going to have to deal with. I hope my kids are part of the generation that starts to turn it around. I do know that society does that. Rises and falls. I hope we are getting to a rise.

I thought this was interesting...

I found this on another blog online and liked it so much, I thought I'd snag it!

From C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain:
"...What would really satisfy us would be a God who said of anything we happened to like doing, 'What does it matter so long as they are contented?' We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven--a senile benevolence who, as they say, 'liked to see young people enjoying themselves,' and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, 'a good time was had by all.' Not many people, I admit, would formulate a theology in precisely those terms: but a conception not very different lurks at the back of many minds. I do not claim to be an exception: I should very much like to live in a universe which was governed on such lines. But since it is abundantly clear that I don't, and since I have reason to believe, nevertheless, that God is Love, I conclude that my conception of love needs correction. ...There is a kindness in Love: but Love and kindness are not coterminous, and when kindness is separated from the other elements of Love, it involves a certain fundamental indifference to its object, and even something like contempt of it. Kindness consents very readily to the removal of its object--we have all met people whose kindness to animals is constantly leading them to kill animals lest they should suffer. Kindness, merely as such, cares not whether its object becomes good or bad, provided only that it escapes suffering....It is for people whom we care nothing about that we demand happiness on any terms: with our friends, our lovers, our children, we are exacting and would rather see them suffer much than happy in contemptible and estranging modes. If God is Love, He is, by definition, something more than mere kindness. And it appears, from all the records, that though He has often rebuked us and condemned us, He has never regarded us with contempt...."

It's so interesting to me that people are always asking why God allows pain. Since we are to believe what is written in the bible and since Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." then how does that jibe with God causing pain? Why would He cause us pain and then turn it around and work it so that it benefit us? I just don't understand that. It's like putting someone under a falling piano and then pushing them out of the way at the last minute and saying, "whew! I just saved your life!"

I believe that we live in a world of sin which leads us to have pain and suffering. If we had not sinned in the first place then just imagine the world that we would be living in right now. No pain, no suffering only paradise. That is the world God created for us, man created the pain.

No Matter What

Chad and I have been married for almost eight years. It was eight years ago today that he took me to Wendy's in Bend, OR, parked in the back out of the way and gave me my Valentine's gift. It was three hat boxes and in the top one was a ton of candy - miniature Snickers bars. The second one was Chicken Soup for the Couples Soul and in the bottom was a red heart shaped pillow that had "Will you marry me?" embroidered on it with the ring tied to it. I knew it was coming but it was still such a clever, romantic way to ask. I knew I was gonna marry Chad within a month of us going out. I remember sitting in church and I looked down and I saw our legs beside each other and I knew I was gonna see those legs next to each other from then on.

We've really worked at this marriage. The first years were stormy but I'm one of the lucky ones and I'm married to a man that takes into account what I say and makes himself and consequently myself better. We are each other's top priority. He holds my hand at night when we watch tv. He tells me he loves me every time we talk. He listens when I talk (even when he doesn't act like it!) and he respects me and he appreciates me and he loves me more than I ever imagined I would be loved.

When I was single, my Grandpa told me to pray to God to send me the man that God wanted me to marry. When I realized that Chad was that man, it amazed me how God took the littlest want I had and brought it all together in Chad. I am so blessed. Another thing that my grandparents taught me was "No Matter What". Chad and I decided that we would love each other no matter what. And that is even engraved on Chad's wedding band. It's worked for the last eight years with such amazing results that I can't wait to see what the next eight years have in store!!

Judged by your peers...

"I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, bt that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of mens hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God."
1 Corinthians 4:3-5

Judge - form an opinion of

Condemn - to pronounce to be guilty; sentence to punishment

Just some thoughts I had.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

I was discussing some stuff online with a group of people and the subject turned to God and the bible and one of them said something along the lines that the bible was written to help humanity in a time that was very different than this one and that as humanity evolved then so too should the moral codes.

Now think about that, it's great for those arguments where we want to justify doing whatever you want and calling it evolution but what about the other stuff? What about the promises? What about salvation? You can't have one without the other.

Just a thought...

As I was doing the dishes (isn't it funny how your mind wanders as you wash dishes?) I was thinking how so many people say that Christians want to "force our beliefs" onto them and I always think in my head, "I don't want you to have my beliefs - they are MINE!" I never once think that when I'm talking to someone of a different belief that they are forcing their opinions onto me so what is the difference? I read something that someone had written yesterday and she said that while she didn't agree with certain things that people believed that she would never be sad or judge them for what they believed because it would negate their beliefs. Wouldn't it be so refreshing if everyone felt that way?

My Birth Verse

http://www.mybirthverse.com/

Titus 1:2 NIV
"...a faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time,"

I love it.

Stereotypes...

I'm really angry right now about stereotypes. If I hear one more time that they aren't talking me, they are talking about "Christians" I may just explode. I am a Christian and I am a true Christian, the hypocritical, loudmouth, ugly people who use the Christian label to promote their own brand of judgement as opposed to what God wants for us are not. I looked up stereotype and this is the definition: a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group. Seems so innocent doesn't it? I wanted it to say something along the lines of "horrible misrepresentation of an innocent group of people." because in our day and age that's what it's boiled down to. I don't think I've ever seen a stereotype that hasn't pulled out all the ugly characteristics of a group and used that to describe them.

I guess it boils down to whether or not you are willing to look at each person as an individual or just put them in their little box as soon as you see the color of their skin or realize that they believe in God. I am who I am because of what I have chosen to believe and what I have studied and what I have looked for and questioned. You are who you are for the same exact reasons but for some reason since I believe in God, I don't get the same courtesy that you do, I get ridiculed. It's amazing to me how many people who go on and on about how open minded and accepting of everyone and everything are totally closed minded to anything they don't agree with. I know a lot of Christians are like that but you know what? I'm not, so don't judge me by people you've met, judge me on my own merit, by my own words and I'll do the same to you. Just because I don't agree with what you believe does not mean that I don't respect your views.

Morgan Musings...

This isn't a post about a thought I had that turned into an epiphany, it's about my oldest son Morgan. Morgan is five and wonderful. We had a conversation today that is a pretty good example of conversations we have about once every couple of weeks and I thought to myself that I had to write this one down to remember how he once thought.

Morgan: Mom, what if I was a race car driver and I broke my arm? Would I be able to work or eat?
Mom: Yeah, you could use your other arm.
Morgan: Well, what if I broke both arms?
Mom: Then I guess someone would have to feed you.
Morgan: Once they started to heal, could I go back to work?
Mom: Yeah.
Morgan: What if I got into another wreck and broke my arms again?
Mom: Then you should probably look for another job.

A couple minutes later...

Morgan: When I turn 16, maybe Matthew and I will go hunting.
Mom: Maybe.
Morgan: What if we saw a bear and I had to tell Matthew to shoot it and he shot it, would that be good?
Mom: Yep, but only if it's attacking you.
Morgan: If it was attacking us we would call 911, I mean the fire department and they would come and spray water on it.
Mom: (Duh...finally getting in on the fun stuff of asking questions back!!) What if the bear was on fire?
Morgan: Then the firefighters would put him out and he would probably be dead.
Mom: What if we set him on fire? (I know, I'm not sure what I was thinking!!)
Morgan: Can we do that?
Mom: I don't know, the next time we see a policeman we need to ask him whether or not it's illegal to set bears on fire...I think it is.

I just love the fact that he can talk for hours about anything. Of course, there are those times when all I want to do is hear the last two minutes of a really good movie and he wants to know something totally off the wall but for the most part, I love hearing what he has to say!

Five things...

I knew I should have just gone to Allrecipes.com to look up a recipe for bruschetta, but no, I had to stop by my MIL's blog to see what's going on and I was tagged. So, my five things are...

1. I was a volunteer firefighter for a small North GA town when I was in my early 20s. It was great fun and I actually got to put out fires and do a search and rescue after some tornados on Palm Sunday.

2. I have flat feet. I don't know where that came from but it's true!

3. I have four older sisters, three older brothers and one younger sister but I'm the only child born from my parents. (The wonders of previous marriages and one adoption!)

4. I'm seven years older than my husband and only 11 years younger than my MIL, she is only a year older than my oldest sister.

5. I have a tattoo of Dumbo the elephant on my left ankle. My husband and I went down on our third or fourth date and got tattoos. They weren't matching - we wanted our relationship to last!! :P

Okay, that's all! I'm not sure who all reads this so I'm not gonna tag anyone....yet!

Friendship...

How does that saying go about friends being like silver and gold? Oh, I found it...

Make new friends but keep the old

One is silver and the other gold.

I have a couple of friendships that have been refined and mellowed to a beautiful gold. My oldest friend is from third grade. We were eight when we met and the last time I saw her, we were looking at our three year old boys saying that in five short years they would be our age when we had met. How does that work? That just last year we were in my mom's LeBaron driving home illegally because we were only 15 and my parents trusted me enough to let me go. That only last week a couple of years had gone by and we hadn't spoken and I was scared that our friendship had reached the end or that only yesterday we were sitting in her living room watching our kids play? What made us hold on? What kept us from just not taking the time to write or call? I can't put my finger on it but I know that something amazing has kept us through the great times, the hard times and all the times in between. Like I said, this friendship has been refined to a beautiful gold.

Then there is my second oldest friend. I've known her since seventh grade when friend number one was at another jr high. We had probably three years where we were all about each other. We wrote notes all day during school and then called and talked for two - three hours at night. We've seen each other maybe twice in the last 15 years yet when we are together, it's like no time has gone by and we are right back in the rhythm of our friendship.

These two women have been such a blessing to my life. What is interesting is that religion has been a factor in both of these friendships. I wonder if that's had anything to do with their staying power? One of the best memories of my wedding is before I walked down to meet my dad, my bridesmaids and I had prayer and these two women were there. I just remember being so joyful and a big part of that joy was having these women there that day. I'm trying to tie this post in with a deep thought but I just can't! So, I'm rambling with tears in my eyes because I am so lucky to have people in my life who love me for who I am and I just wanted to take today to tell about two of them.

I guess I'll go eat worms....

I've been dealing with neighbors the last couple of months and it finally all came to a head last week and the end result is that my boys can't play out front anymore. It's your ordinary, run of the mill disagreement between how our children should behave and how it should be enforced and I'll leave it at that.

So, this has really thrown me for a loop because I am a people pleaser from way back. I've never been one to force people to listen to my side of things and I literally have to stop myself from going against what I want to make others happy. But, I've had a lot of truths come out of this situation too.

1. My boys don't have to play with every child they know and when it comes right down to it, it's my job to make sure they play with kids that have a lot of the same standards that we do.

2. I can't force my kids to be the bad guys to make other people happy. I have to be their advocate and stand up for them even if it makes me unpopular.

3. I will make my kids take full responsibility for their actions, even if they have every right to choose those actions.

I still haven't worked it all out because I am hurt and I do want to blame it all on them but I'm trying really hard to look at it as objectively as I can so I don't miss an opportunity to teach my boys a lesson or learn a lesson about myself because I've never been in this situation where I'm responsible for my kids' action on other kids. But at the same time, I have a strong feeling that I am in the right and I want them to know it! Ugh...I'm rambling but I want my boys to be able to play with the other kids and I want to be able to chit chat over the fence with my neighbors but that can't always happen. The phrase "set apart" keeps popping into my head and I know that I am set apart from them. I don't accept the same things they do and I don't parent the same way they do. And that's okay. Just because I don't agree with them doesn't mean that I'm better than they are or that I'm even right. I just have to know that I'm doing everything I can to keep the situation as "clean" as I can and not let myself fall into the trap of being nasty because I'm mad. It's just hard to be on the outside sometimes.

Happy New Year!

I know I'm way late. I just have had so much on my mind and it's all been negative. It's hard when you feel like you can't say anything positive because there is so much yuck (what's the opposite noun word for hope?) in your brain. I do know that I haven't been spending near the time I need to with my God, which is probably why I've felt so bad. But, I can't live like that. I have to feel happiness and hope in my life. So, once again I handed over my problems to God and this time, I really wish I'd stop taking them back! He handles them so much better than I do.

The other day, I noticed something that made me stop and think. Matthew wanted a bottle of water. He hardly ever drinks out of a bottle, he is usually just fine with a cup. I didn't want to give him the bottle because I knew he would take maybe two drinks out of it and then the rest would be spilled or whatever. So, he cried and cried and whined and pouted until I finally gave in and gave him that stupid bottle and sure enough he drank one drink and that was it. How many times do we make a big deal over something so minor that our whole world is turned upside down until we get it and then realize that it wasn't what we needed anyway. Matthew didn't want water, he probably needed a nap or a hug or something but that bottle of water received the focus of all his needs and so it became more important than it actually was.

It spoke to me because I need the Lord. I get along great when my goal during the day is to be with Him and to be like Him. But there are times when slowly but surely, I turn my head to look at something else and start concentrating on it when before I know it, I'm yelling and whining for a bottle of water when what I really need is just a drink from His word or a moment or two in prayer.

"Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
John 4:13-14