Why?

Don't call me Naomi, " she told them. "Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.
Ruth 1:20

I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me. You turn on me ruthlessly; with the might of your hand you attack me.
You snatch me up and drive me before the wind; you toss me about in the storm.
I know you will bring me down to death, to the place appointed for all the living.
Job 30:20-23

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.
Psalm 22:1-2

What do you think when you read these verses? Do you think, "Man, what a bunch of crybabies! They need to suck it up and move on." or "Wow, I wonder what they've gone through to have such heartache." I think the latter. I know a lot of people think the former, that we shouldn't question God, that we should just accept everything on this Earth meekly and deal with it the best we can and move on. But, I don't think so.

In these instances, Naomi was telling her hometown that she had come back because her husband and two sons were dead and that her daughter in law was gone. She had left full and had come home empty. Think about that, your family of six has been brought down to two, I think she had every reason to feel bitter. Look at Job, he had lost everything, his children, his wealth, his health and while he never did turn his back on God, he did ask him why?? And David in Psalm 22, is crying to the Lord because he has fallen under attack after attack from enemies that God has not saved him from. These people, who God looked favorably upon all have very valid reasons to feel angry and wounded and ask their God WHY?? Why should we feel any different and why should we not be allowed to do the same?

I'm not saying wallow in your grief, I'm not saying that you should dwell on it forever, I'm saying that God has allowed us to question Him and not feel ashamed or scared. We can come before Him and ask why. But, I've come to realize that the only answer you will get is, Because I'm God. And that's enough. That's all we need to know because we have these promises,

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.
Deuteronomy 7:9

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12

Before, when people have asked why, I've always wondered why not? But, I've come to realize that if you are a child of God, it's because God is at work in your life. Who knows what Heaven holds for the mother who has had to bury a child? Who knows what's to come for the widow who has to bury a husband? Who knows how many people a recovered drug addict can lead to God? God does and we may find out in this world or in the next but we can be assured that any pain we live with today will lead to blessing after blessing tomorrow.

Internet Evangelism

My mother in law called me with wonderful news last night, a reader of her blog got baptized yesterday and it was because of her blog that it happened. She commented a couple of months ago on it, asking questions and Neva set her up with a church in her hometown and then she got the good news on Sunday. How fantastic this is!! How awesome to see God at work on the INTERNET!! I mean, can you imagine that conversation between God and Satan?

God: So, there's this new thing called the World Wide Web
Satan: Yeah, I'm so excited!! I'll be able to spread hatred and porn all over the world in 0.04 seconds!!
God: Funny, I was thinking that my children will be able to spread the Word that much faster.

Isn't it crazy that when God created KSL (the reader), He knew that she would learn about Him through the Internet. He put Neva's blog in her path when He knew she needed it. It just makes blogging about our faith bigger somehow, you know? I mean, who knows who's reading.

Congratulations to KSL and her husband again! I'm so thankful that you are a part of our family!

Update on Chad and another lesson learned.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

Okay, I have to say that I totally understand this verse but at the same time how do you prepare for the future if you don't think about tomorrow?? Or since I have not one idea what the future holds no matter what I think it holds, I should just live for today, right? I think actually that is the way it should be.

We found out yesterday that Chad won't leave for Iraq until probably August or September. The crew that went out this six months left yesterday. Yeah, he had his phone interview yesterday and they called him and said, "okay you need to be here at 2pm if you are going with us." This was at 10:30. Umm...didn't happen. Which after a little bit of disappointment because I'm being honest, I was looking forward to the money that could have paid some big bills, I'm glad that it worked out this way. I know without a doubt that it will work out, I just feel so wishy washy when I say, okay this is the way it is and then a week later go, okay, no this is the way it is! If you go down about three posts about Change is in the Air, a lot of that is now void but I still need to pray and lean on God so the important lessons I learned are still valid, they are just pointed in another direction.

I have never felt like clay so much as I do right now. I feel like I am totally at the mercy of God. Which I know is a good thing but for someone who likes (okay LOVES) to have control of a situation, it's hard. I want to know what tomorrow brings and I want to know now but that's not the way God is, he wants me to concentrate on right now because I can only be the person he wants me to be if I'm in the here and now. I have to be focused on Him and not the future. Man, I never thought of it like that but if my eyes are on the future than they aren't where they should be...on Him. So, even if I'm trying to grow in the Lord, he wants me growing TODAY, not tomorrow, not in the next six months, he wants me concentrated on today.

Okay, God....I hear you!

Wow.

“I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” (Matt. 25:40 NLT).

How we treat others is how we treat Jesus.
-Max Lucado

When I read this, I cried. I get so impatient and so frustrated with my kids that I sometimes say stuff to them that I would never dream say to anyone else. If Jesus was standing in front of me taking forever and a day to get something done would I say something ugly to him? Of course not and I'm so guilty of that. I want so much to be patient and gracious and yet it seems that every time I turn around there is something there that just annoys me to no end.

Ugh...Thank God I have the opportunity to say I'm sorry and try again.

Just a quick note...

If you like to read this blog, I also have another one on my profile that's more of a day to day, casual one. Thanks!

Change is in the air.

Isn't it weird when an event here and an event there comes together and forms something that shows you once again that God is in complete control? Chad has a job opportunity that after days of prayer and talking and prayer and talking we have decided that we can't pass up. It involves Chad being gone for a year with a month off half way through. I was all excited because my sister was gonna come up and stay with me and take a load off but God has shown me that He has other plans for me. She won't be here until August which means that I'll have roughly four months with just my boys and I. Other than knowing I will miss Chad with an intensity that I am not real excited about facing, I am excited about the changes that God has in store for me. I feel like He has been preparing me for this for the last couple of months, without even knowing that it would lead to this.
I know that God is going to help me become a better Christian because I'm going to be leaning on him for everything. He has shown me that I have got to pray more because I'll be doing a while lotta praying in the next year. He has led me to lessons on grace because I will have to show grace to my husband and my kids in the next year and show them that we can get through anything if we put God first.
I know that God is going to help me become a better mother. I'm not gonna get a whole lot of breaks in the next year from my boys and instead of fretting and whining about it, I'm going to revel in the fact that I get to be with them. I am going to pray for them and with them and let them know that there is nowhere I'd rather be than with them.
I know that God is going to make my marriage stronger. Chad and I have such a precious bond right now and while I know it's going to change, I know that with God's help, it's gonna change for the better.
The next year could go in two different directions, either up or down and I will not go down. I will not fail my husband, my kids or my Lord by dwelling on the negative because with His help the next year will change us all for the better.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:11

Okay, I FINALLY got it!

I was in the Enrichment program when I was in elementary school but I think once I hit junior high, all bets were off. I'm quick to learn but when I have a thought in my head it takes a long time before I can even entertain that just because it's MY thought, doesn't necessarily make it right.

So anyway, my latest pet peeve has been ignorant people. People who spout off about things and I think, "Are you kidding me?? Do you hear yourself?" And for the last little while, I have felt like it was my God given duty to set these people straight. And I get so frustrated because they don't listen!! I mean, my own kids hardly listen to me and I expect strangers on the Internet to go, "man, thanks for that, you have truly set my path straight!" (Okay, I don't really expect that but it would be nice to hear from time to time.)

But today I had an epiphany and please don't laugh because I know God has us learn things on our own schedule so we really learn it but just because y'all learned when you were five doesn't make my learning it any less special! I'm supposed to pray for people! Especially the ones that really annoy me, the ones I want to really say not nice things too. I need to give them to God in prayer because obviously, my way doesn't work as well as His does!

So...that's what I'm gonna try to do is really seriously pray about anything and everything I feel the need too. I'm not a real good prayer to start with, it's hard for me to remember to pray a lot of the time and I know that to get closer to my God, I need to take more time to talk to Him.

So, if you could, could you pray for me?

**I know this post is silly but it really was a serious revelation for me, I just had a big Duh! moment when I realized it.
***I also knew to pray for people but the concept of praying for them whenever I thought about how much they irritated me was part of my revelation.