I am...

I am the fifth child born to a mom and the fourth child born to a dad who came together to have their first child in me.
I am the little girl who loved to read no matter what it was and remember reading Danny and the Dinosaur sitting on my grandma's lap.
I am the little girl who played for hours on rocks outside our house pretending to be Ayla the cavewoman. (I told you I'd read anything!)
I am the little girl who sat on the playground with another little girl and pledged to be friends forever and we still are.
I am the young lady who loved Drama and was the lead in my ninth grade play.
I am the young lady who wanted so badly to have a boyfriend but never found the right one.
I am the young woman who thought she had found the right one in high school.
I am the young woman who gave college a try but just couldn't do it.
I am the woman who tried a lot of different jobs before finding my perfect niche in childcare.
I am the woman who cried over the body of an elderly man who had died in a tornado in the town where I was on the Volunteer Fire Department.
I am the woman who set off cross country with my mom and little sister to find a new start in Oregon.
I am the woman who resigned herself to being single.
I am the woman who fell madly in love with a man who is seven years younger than me.
I am the woman who was lucky enough to find a man who always wanted to be a dad.
I am the woman who is the mother of three beautiful boys.
I am the mother who tries so hard to be a good mom and falls short all the time.
I am the mother who gets up and tries again.
I am the wife, the mother, the sister, the daughter, the friend of so many people who make my life complete and I am who I am because of them.
I am God's favorite child and He has showered me with blessing after blessing.

Who are you?

Thank you Larissa!

I went to my sister in law's blog this morning and received an unexpected gift. She had a link on her blog to Faith Lifts and from there I found Moms of Grace which I joined and have already gone on a posting spree this morning. Plus, they have bible studies which I've already tried to start but with the kids running around, it's not been a good time to meditate on it. And I ordered a book called "Queen of the Castle: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker" which I can't wait to get and have even more time for me!

I'm so glad that she had that link on her site. I feel like these sites will open up a whole new world for me online that I've been wanting to pursue but haven't been able to find. I can't wait to soak it all in!

Free Will

The doctrine that the conduct of human beings expresses personal choice and is not simply determined by physical or divine forces.

I've been wondering lately about free will. I came to a conclusion today that changed the way I had thought about an issue for many years. It was about abortion and I was always against abortion but always figured that women should have the right to choose. I mean, if God gave us Free Will, shouldn't we allow others to have it? But then that is a slippery slope because that could trickle down to murderers being able to murder because they are exercising their free will. So I was talking to my mom and she said that murder should never be a choice. Good point. So, when I came on here to wonder about free will, I remembered something my mother in law had told me that someone had told her. We, as Christians should be the light that shows the way. A guiding light, a gentle light. One that doesn't blind but one that is bright enough to see. So, people can have their free will but if I'm asked, I will definitely shine my light in the direction that God points me.

"In the same way, let your light shine in front of others. Then they will see the good things you do. And they will praise your Father who is in heaven. "
Matthew 5:16

Two in One Day!

Yesterday in honor of President's Day, Morgan asked me why somebody shot and killed President Abraham Lincoln.

Good question and how do you answer that one? I just told him that someone felt that they had the right to take his life because they didn't like what he had to say. And then it hit me. Even murder is plain old selfishness. Someone thinks they have the right to decide that they get to take someone else's life. I always felt murder is akin to evil (which it is) but I've never realized that it is also akin to selfishness. When we put ourselves first, we can justify anything. I don't know my bible well enough but I wonder if Satan is ever called the God of Self because isn't that just what he is? Doesn't everything he stands for revolve around self? And now, I feel like society is getting to believe in that. Moreso now than ever. There was at least a cover of common decency or shame back in the day but now that's gone. It's all good if it's all about you and you better not say anything otherwise. It's that searing of the conscience, I think.

I just hope that more and more people realize that this is the direction society is going and this is what our kids are going to have to deal with. I hope my kids are part of the generation that starts to turn it around. I do know that society does that. Rises and falls. I hope we are getting to a rise.

I thought this was interesting...

I found this on another blog online and liked it so much, I thought I'd snag it!

From C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain:
"...What would really satisfy us would be a God who said of anything we happened to like doing, 'What does it matter so long as they are contented?' We want, in fact, not so much a Father in Heaven as a grandfather in heaven--a senile benevolence who, as they say, 'liked to see young people enjoying themselves,' and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, 'a good time was had by all.' Not many people, I admit, would formulate a theology in precisely those terms: but a conception not very different lurks at the back of many minds. I do not claim to be an exception: I should very much like to live in a universe which was governed on such lines. But since it is abundantly clear that I don't, and since I have reason to believe, nevertheless, that God is Love, I conclude that my conception of love needs correction. ...There is a kindness in Love: but Love and kindness are not coterminous, and when kindness is separated from the other elements of Love, it involves a certain fundamental indifference to its object, and even something like contempt of it. Kindness consents very readily to the removal of its object--we have all met people whose kindness to animals is constantly leading them to kill animals lest they should suffer. Kindness, merely as such, cares not whether its object becomes good or bad, provided only that it escapes suffering....It is for people whom we care nothing about that we demand happiness on any terms: with our friends, our lovers, our children, we are exacting and would rather see them suffer much than happy in contemptible and estranging modes. If God is Love, He is, by definition, something more than mere kindness. And it appears, from all the records, that though He has often rebuked us and condemned us, He has never regarded us with contempt...."

It's so interesting to me that people are always asking why God allows pain. Since we are to believe what is written in the bible and since Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." then how does that jibe with God causing pain? Why would He cause us pain and then turn it around and work it so that it benefit us? I just don't understand that. It's like putting someone under a falling piano and then pushing them out of the way at the last minute and saying, "whew! I just saved your life!"

I believe that we live in a world of sin which leads us to have pain and suffering. If we had not sinned in the first place then just imagine the world that we would be living in right now. No pain, no suffering only paradise. That is the world God created for us, man created the pain.

No Matter What

Chad and I have been married for almost eight years. It was eight years ago today that he took me to Wendy's in Bend, OR, parked in the back out of the way and gave me my Valentine's gift. It was three hat boxes and in the top one was a ton of candy - miniature Snickers bars. The second one was Chicken Soup for the Couples Soul and in the bottom was a red heart shaped pillow that had "Will you marry me?" embroidered on it with the ring tied to it. I knew it was coming but it was still such a clever, romantic way to ask. I knew I was gonna marry Chad within a month of us going out. I remember sitting in church and I looked down and I saw our legs beside each other and I knew I was gonna see those legs next to each other from then on.

We've really worked at this marriage. The first years were stormy but I'm one of the lucky ones and I'm married to a man that takes into account what I say and makes himself and consequently myself better. We are each other's top priority. He holds my hand at night when we watch tv. He tells me he loves me every time we talk. He listens when I talk (even when he doesn't act like it!) and he respects me and he appreciates me and he loves me more than I ever imagined I would be loved.

When I was single, my Grandpa told me to pray to God to send me the man that God wanted me to marry. When I realized that Chad was that man, it amazed me how God took the littlest want I had and brought it all together in Chad. I am so blessed. Another thing that my grandparents taught me was "No Matter What". Chad and I decided that we would love each other no matter what. And that is even engraved on Chad's wedding band. It's worked for the last eight years with such amazing results that I can't wait to see what the next eight years have in store!!

Judged by your peers...

"I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, bt that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of mens hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God."
1 Corinthians 4:3-5

Judge - form an opinion of

Condemn - to pronounce to be guilty; sentence to punishment

Just some thoughts I had.

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

I was discussing some stuff online with a group of people and the subject turned to God and the bible and one of them said something along the lines that the bible was written to help humanity in a time that was very different than this one and that as humanity evolved then so too should the moral codes.

Now think about that, it's great for those arguments where we want to justify doing whatever you want and calling it evolution but what about the other stuff? What about the promises? What about salvation? You can't have one without the other.

Just a thought...

As I was doing the dishes (isn't it funny how your mind wanders as you wash dishes?) I was thinking how so many people say that Christians want to "force our beliefs" onto them and I always think in my head, "I don't want you to have my beliefs - they are MINE!" I never once think that when I'm talking to someone of a different belief that they are forcing their opinions onto me so what is the difference? I read something that someone had written yesterday and she said that while she didn't agree with certain things that people believed that she would never be sad or judge them for what they believed because it would negate their beliefs. Wouldn't it be so refreshing if everyone felt that way?

My Birth Verse

http://www.mybirthverse.com/

Titus 1:2 NIV
"...a faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time,"

I love it.

Stereotypes...

I'm really angry right now about stereotypes. If I hear one more time that they aren't talking me, they are talking about "Christians" I may just explode. I am a Christian and I am a true Christian, the hypocritical, loudmouth, ugly people who use the Christian label to promote their own brand of judgement as opposed to what God wants for us are not. I looked up stereotype and this is the definition: a simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group. Seems so innocent doesn't it? I wanted it to say something along the lines of "horrible misrepresentation of an innocent group of people." because in our day and age that's what it's boiled down to. I don't think I've ever seen a stereotype that hasn't pulled out all the ugly characteristics of a group and used that to describe them.

I guess it boils down to whether or not you are willing to look at each person as an individual or just put them in their little box as soon as you see the color of their skin or realize that they believe in God. I am who I am because of what I have chosen to believe and what I have studied and what I have looked for and questioned. You are who you are for the same exact reasons but for some reason since I believe in God, I don't get the same courtesy that you do, I get ridiculed. It's amazing to me how many people who go on and on about how open minded and accepting of everyone and everything are totally closed minded to anything they don't agree with. I know a lot of Christians are like that but you know what? I'm not, so don't judge me by people you've met, judge me on my own merit, by my own words and I'll do the same to you. Just because I don't agree with what you believe does not mean that I don't respect your views.