Do y'all ever stop to think about circumstances surrounding bothersome incidents in your life? Last week my car battery died and I mean that thing was deader than a doornail. It happened on Friday morning around 11:30 in the morning. And it sucked! I had planned a fun day of shopping with my mom and Matthew and Austin and we had just finished our first stop and when we got to the car it was dead. So, I had to run in and find someone to tow us and then we had to go to Wal-Mart and get a new battery and just made it to pick up Morgan from school without being too late. It also put us back $120.

But...the week before we would not have had that $120 in the bank. Period. No credit, no help from parents, nothing. We couldn't have paid for it. But this week, we had a cushion to help out and it didn't set us back too badly.

And...I had also worked all that week and it didn't die on me at 7:00 at night when I got off work or at 2:00 in the afternoon when Morgan needed to be picked up so that means that it wouldn't have been a mad rush to get me home from work to pick him up or have Chad load up all three boys in a car with not enough car seats to come and get me.

I really appreciate the fact that even in the little things God helps out. Because they say that there are no coincidences and this is just too coincidental for me!!

I'm missing my old life...

It was so nice to putter around all day with the kids and visit all my online blogging friends every spare minute I had! But, I'm finally feeling like my life is adjusting to the new normal of me working full time. I still really like my job and I'm making some new friends. None that I would hang out with outside of work since most of them are in their early 20s but the socializing at work is enough for me.

I don't have anything to say, I just wanted to touch base with my regular readers and tell you I'm still here!

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!

I seriously could not be any happier. :)

I know I've been a slacker...

I've been looking for work. Online all day sending out resumes and calling people...ugh, is there anything worse?? But...today I have an interview at a bookstore. I WANT this job! Please send up a prayer today that this is where God wants me to be. Because I really want to be there!

Lessons from the kitchen table...

I named this blog for my Grandpa. About 10 years ago, I would go over to his house every Tuesday night and we would go through the Scripture line by line and we would discuss each passage. He gave me insights that he had learned through years of study. Insights that always made such perfect sense to me. I was thumbing through my bible looking for a verse that would set me off on a tangent that I could translate to a blog entry and instead I started noticing all the notes I had. Of course, I was in Romans and anyone who knows Foy Martin, knows that Romans is his favorite book. He's the one that first explained grace to me. Anyway, so I thought I'd write about my notes.

I'll start with Romans 3:23-24, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by his grace, through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." Grandpa told me that justified meant "just as if I had not sinned". So basically those verses mean that we all have sinned but with God's grace, those sins are gone as if they had never happened.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produce perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:1-5. That's just a really good verse!

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39. Although I do believe that the one thing that can separate us is ourselves. We can choose to not accept that love.

To be continued...

Collectivism

Collectivism is a term used to describe any moral, political, or social outlook, that stresses human interdependence and the importance of a collective, rather than the importance of separate individuals. Collectivists focus on community and society, and seek to give priority to group goals over individual goals. The philosophical underpinnings of collectivism are often related to holism or organicism - the view that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Specifically, a society as a whole can be seen as having more meaning or value than the separate individuals that make up that society. (Wikipedia)

I agree with this line of thought. Think about a society on a much smaller scale, your family. What's more important? That you or your husband or your children are happy or that the whole is happy? I know that means compromise and someone not being happy 100% of the time but the goal is to make sure that everyone is happy. I've seen the Nanny 911 shows where from the outside the kids are having a ball because they rule the roost but when you delve deeper, the whole family is miserable so what has to happen for happiness? The parents have to stand up and consistently work on the kids setting boundaries, following through, etc. And the kids? They are just generally unhappy because while their little minds crave boundaries, having to actually live in them is another story. So what's better for the family? Thinking only of yourself and being miserable or thinking of others and being happy? I would think that's a no-brainer but obviously after watching SuperNanny and Nanny 911 and shows like that, today's family has not one clue how to do that. How to put others above themselves. It's that verse again, isn't it?!?

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

Philippians 2:3-4

I belong to a public group who interacts through a message board and one of those message boards is called Hot Topics. The kind of topics that will create a debate and once I discovered that place, I was hooked!! I love debating! I love getting the different insights into different topics and the topic that brought about this whole entry on my blog was about legalizing prostitution. I was just going through in my mind the reasons people had for legalizing it and I came to this conclusion, if we treat people as bodies or entities then we don't have to worry about their soul. And for right now, I'm not talking about the soul that needs to turn to Jesus, I'm talking about the flame that makes us who we are. Yes, by all means let's legalize prostitution and let's let generations of women know that we don't care what they do to their bodies, our job is to only make sure they are disease free. We don't care about the spirit. What about abortion? That's another spirit killer that we've legalized. Thousands of women every day go and abort their children because all we care about is that it's their body and their choice. We don't care that they are cutting out a piece of their heart that they may never get back. We have to care about others because they don't care about themselves!! Don't you think that's why Jesus went to the woman by the well? Who else was going to talk to her about Him? What about the woman who was going to be stoned? Jesus came to her because NO ONE else would have. We have to put others above ourselves. We have to try to take care of the ones who can't take care of themselves.

I know it's so hard to do that but you know, small steps lead to bigger steps. I took a small step yesterday and I didn't do it so I could point out what a great Christian wife I was, I did it because that's what my God wanted me to do.

Okay, I think this post is getting away from me because I can't gather my thoughts anymore, they've splintered off into 20 different directions and I've noticed that the more I get into God's word, that that's what happens!

A Valuable Lesson

I had a new experience this weekend both as a Christian and as a wife. I submitted to my husband on a choice that I didn't agree with but I knew that I didn't have a choice if I want to live the way I want to as a Christian. I'm not going to go into the whys and whatnot but I will just say that he feels one way and I feel the polar opposite. And I was mad and my feelings were hurt and I wanted him to know every feeling I had. But I knew that I didn't want him to change his mind to make me happy. I knew that he wouldn't ask me to do something unless he felt strongly about it and just because I don't feel the way he does doesn't make his feelings any less. I felt like I had a very valid argument about why I should be able to continue what I was doing and I informed him of some of them but he remained firm in his opinion and that's when I knew I had to submit. I whined about it for a while and this morning when I woke up and still felt incredibly resentful, it came down to realizing how incredibly selfish I was being. I knew that what we were disagreeing on was in no way more important than him and I was placing more importance on something than it deserved. I knew that God could change my heart on this if I asked him too and I did and He did. And in a heartbeat all my anger, my resentment was gone. In a heartbeat. One minute I was crying and feeling so sorry for myself and the next I felt totally at peace with it all. It's not about wanting my way, it's about putting Chad's feelings over my wants. And his feelings will win out every single time.

For Heather...

I hate that I have to be a part of something like this but at the same time it warms my heart when a community rallies together to help a friend in need. I'm not a close friend to Heather but she is one of the co-founders of the Moms of Grace website that I found a couple of months ago that has been such an asset to my life. If you go here you can read about Heather's story from her blog and if you click on the button it will take you to the blog that is raising money to help Heather out. Please, on April 18 (that's next Wednesday) if you can spare anything it would be such a blessing to Heather and her family. I am challenging all my readers to donate at least $1. Everybody can afford $1 and together it adds up to so much!! It would also be wonderful if we could raise Heather and her family up in prayer every chance we get. Thanks.

Grace Based Parenting

I finished this book last night and if you are a parent, I urge you to go get it and read it yourself!! I just have to get down a couple of points that I felt were so important.

• He defines love as "the commitment of my will to your needs and best interests, regardless of the cost." He then goes on to say that when we are talking to people we love that our honesty must be delivered with its effect on the other person in mind. Grace requires that we deliver words about touchy subjects with a commitment to help - even heal- the other person. And that it works both ways - that we speak this way to our children and that we let them speak this way to us. (italics are passages straight from the book)

What I love about this book is that it teaches us how to be grace based Christians on top of being grace based parents. We should do this with everyone not just our kids but it's so important that we do treat our kids with grace. We are such a huge influence on our children just think of the influence we'll have on them if they know first hand how much difference the grace of God makes in their life.

• Another thing I really liked was this quote by Dr. Dan Allender about dishonesty... "Because dishonesty, or living a in denial, is actually an attempt to dethrone God. It is an attempt to become as God with the power to construct the world and reality according to our desire...God does not play by our rules nor resolve our wound and ache as we desire; therefore, we leave God's world and create one that is more palatable to our taste, even if it robs us of life and love."

Wow.

I love stuff that I can tuck away in the back of my mind and pull out when I need it and this book is full of that. It makes me want to treat everyone I know with grace and I know that's what God wants for me too.

Some more thoughts on Grace...

I came to a realization today. Do you know why we can be gracious to people and put them above ourselves? Because we are children of the King and we are already so highly valued by God that it just adds to our value when we act like him. One very important thing to remember when we read Phillipians 2:3-4 that says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." is that we in no way lower ourselves or our worth when we do this. Do you think Jesus thought of himself as less than us when He died for our sins? Of course not. I'm just saying that we can't use this verse and let ourselves be doormats or allow others to tell us that it demeans us to consider others better than us. In our society today, this mindset is totally foreign and I don't want to stumble because Satan tells me that I should look out for myself because no one else will. Well, I have God looking out for me when I strive to do His will so I think I can be satisfied with that!!

Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that.
Ephesians 5:1-2 The Message

Isn't that beautiful? His love was not cautious but extravagant. I looked up the meaning of extravagant and it said, "going beyond what is deserved or justifiable" Sounds like grace again, huh? The creator of the Universe didn't love us to get something from us but to give his whole self to us. How lucky are we?

I'm really thankful today amid all the Easter eggs and chocolate and baskets that I can tell my children that Jesus died for me and for them and that today we get to celebrate his resurrection. I am 35 years old and this is the first Easter that has really resonated in me - where I have been aware that today is the day Jesus conquered death.

I just praise God for all his blessings.

Grace

I wish that churches taught about grace more than sin. Or that when people talked about Christians it was about how graceful they are instead of how judgemental. I'm reading a book right now called Grace Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel. The premise is to treat our children the way Jesus treats us. But of course, I got to thinking and I'm just gonna let my thoughts wander.

Grace is defined as the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. Unmerited means that we don't deserve it. Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." That's grace, that's like having your child spit in your face and you reach down and grab him and hug him and tell him you love him. We do it because we love them and so we won't go to prison for child abuse!!

But seriously, I'm really striving to be graceful to everyone. It's hard though, I get annoyed at little things that my kids do and snap at them. I get my feelings hurt by my husband and pull the old, "What's wrong, honey?" "Oh, nothing" dialogue when it's more than obvious there is something wrong. I get mad and feel justified at letting my words fly. But Phillipians 2:3-4 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (emphasis mine) Now the Christians that are reading this are nodding their head and going, "that's right, that's right" but if you don't believe then you may be reading this going, "What?? Why should I consider others better than me? They aren't better than me!" But you know what? If everybody did that, then you would have everyone you know and interact with on a daily basis looking out for your interests. Your husband, your kids and your friends. Ahhhh...kinda makes it sound better, doesn't it?! It does to me too! And the neat thing about it is people mimic the people around them, so maybe if I go into it with the attitude that if I change, I can cause positive change in those around me it won't seem so hard.

Happy Easter!

I remember listening to this over and over again in high school and it's just as powerful now as it was then. I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do.

Why?

Don't call me Naomi, " she told them. "Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.
Ruth 1:20

I cry out to you, O God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me. You turn on me ruthlessly; with the might of your hand you attack me.
You snatch me up and drive me before the wind; you toss me about in the storm.
I know you will bring me down to death, to the place appointed for all the living.
Job 30:20-23

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent.
Psalm 22:1-2

What do you think when you read these verses? Do you think, "Man, what a bunch of crybabies! They need to suck it up and move on." or "Wow, I wonder what they've gone through to have such heartache." I think the latter. I know a lot of people think the former, that we shouldn't question God, that we should just accept everything on this Earth meekly and deal with it the best we can and move on. But, I don't think so.

In these instances, Naomi was telling her hometown that she had come back because her husband and two sons were dead and that her daughter in law was gone. She had left full and had come home empty. Think about that, your family of six has been brought down to two, I think she had every reason to feel bitter. Look at Job, he had lost everything, his children, his wealth, his health and while he never did turn his back on God, he did ask him why?? And David in Psalm 22, is crying to the Lord because he has fallen under attack after attack from enemies that God has not saved him from. These people, who God looked favorably upon all have very valid reasons to feel angry and wounded and ask their God WHY?? Why should we feel any different and why should we not be allowed to do the same?

I'm not saying wallow in your grief, I'm not saying that you should dwell on it forever, I'm saying that God has allowed us to question Him and not feel ashamed or scared. We can come before Him and ask why. But, I've come to realize that the only answer you will get is, Because I'm God. And that's enough. That's all we need to know because we have these promises,

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.
Deuteronomy 7:9

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
James 1:12

Before, when people have asked why, I've always wondered why not? But, I've come to realize that if you are a child of God, it's because God is at work in your life. Who knows what Heaven holds for the mother who has had to bury a child? Who knows what's to come for the widow who has to bury a husband? Who knows how many people a recovered drug addict can lead to God? God does and we may find out in this world or in the next but we can be assured that any pain we live with today will lead to blessing after blessing tomorrow.

Internet Evangelism

My mother in law called me with wonderful news last night, a reader of her blog got baptized yesterday and it was because of her blog that it happened. She commented a couple of months ago on it, asking questions and Neva set her up with a church in her hometown and then she got the good news on Sunday. How fantastic this is!! How awesome to see God at work on the INTERNET!! I mean, can you imagine that conversation between God and Satan?

God: So, there's this new thing called the World Wide Web
Satan: Yeah, I'm so excited!! I'll be able to spread hatred and porn all over the world in 0.04 seconds!!
God: Funny, I was thinking that my children will be able to spread the Word that much faster.

Isn't it crazy that when God created KSL (the reader), He knew that she would learn about Him through the Internet. He put Neva's blog in her path when He knew she needed it. It just makes blogging about our faith bigger somehow, you know? I mean, who knows who's reading.

Congratulations to KSL and her husband again! I'm so thankful that you are a part of our family!

Update on Chad and another lesson learned.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

Okay, I have to say that I totally understand this verse but at the same time how do you prepare for the future if you don't think about tomorrow?? Or since I have not one idea what the future holds no matter what I think it holds, I should just live for today, right? I think actually that is the way it should be.

We found out yesterday that Chad won't leave for Iraq until probably August or September. The crew that went out this six months left yesterday. Yeah, he had his phone interview yesterday and they called him and said, "okay you need to be here at 2pm if you are going with us." This was at 10:30. Umm...didn't happen. Which after a little bit of disappointment because I'm being honest, I was looking forward to the money that could have paid some big bills, I'm glad that it worked out this way. I know without a doubt that it will work out, I just feel so wishy washy when I say, okay this is the way it is and then a week later go, okay, no this is the way it is! If you go down about three posts about Change is in the Air, a lot of that is now void but I still need to pray and lean on God so the important lessons I learned are still valid, they are just pointed in another direction.

I have never felt like clay so much as I do right now. I feel like I am totally at the mercy of God. Which I know is a good thing but for someone who likes (okay LOVES) to have control of a situation, it's hard. I want to know what tomorrow brings and I want to know now but that's not the way God is, he wants me to concentrate on right now because I can only be the person he wants me to be if I'm in the here and now. I have to be focused on Him and not the future. Man, I never thought of it like that but if my eyes are on the future than they aren't where they should be...on Him. So, even if I'm trying to grow in the Lord, he wants me growing TODAY, not tomorrow, not in the next six months, he wants me concentrated on today.

Okay, God....I hear you!

Wow.

“I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” (Matt. 25:40 NLT).

How we treat others is how we treat Jesus.
-Max Lucado

When I read this, I cried. I get so impatient and so frustrated with my kids that I sometimes say stuff to them that I would never dream say to anyone else. If Jesus was standing in front of me taking forever and a day to get something done would I say something ugly to him? Of course not and I'm so guilty of that. I want so much to be patient and gracious and yet it seems that every time I turn around there is something there that just annoys me to no end.

Ugh...Thank God I have the opportunity to say I'm sorry and try again.

Just a quick note...

If you like to read this blog, I also have another one on my profile that's more of a day to day, casual one. Thanks!

Change is in the air.

Isn't it weird when an event here and an event there comes together and forms something that shows you once again that God is in complete control? Chad has a job opportunity that after days of prayer and talking and prayer and talking we have decided that we can't pass up. It involves Chad being gone for a year with a month off half way through. I was all excited because my sister was gonna come up and stay with me and take a load off but God has shown me that He has other plans for me. She won't be here until August which means that I'll have roughly four months with just my boys and I. Other than knowing I will miss Chad with an intensity that I am not real excited about facing, I am excited about the changes that God has in store for me. I feel like He has been preparing me for this for the last couple of months, without even knowing that it would lead to this.
I know that God is going to help me become a better Christian because I'm going to be leaning on him for everything. He has shown me that I have got to pray more because I'll be doing a while lotta praying in the next year. He has led me to lessons on grace because I will have to show grace to my husband and my kids in the next year and show them that we can get through anything if we put God first.
I know that God is going to help me become a better mother. I'm not gonna get a whole lot of breaks in the next year from my boys and instead of fretting and whining about it, I'm going to revel in the fact that I get to be with them. I am going to pray for them and with them and let them know that there is nowhere I'd rather be than with them.
I know that God is going to make my marriage stronger. Chad and I have such a precious bond right now and while I know it's going to change, I know that with God's help, it's gonna change for the better.
The next year could go in two different directions, either up or down and I will not go down. I will not fail my husband, my kids or my Lord by dwelling on the negative because with His help the next year will change us all for the better.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me." Jeremiah 29:11

Okay, I FINALLY got it!

I was in the Enrichment program when I was in elementary school but I think once I hit junior high, all bets were off. I'm quick to learn but when I have a thought in my head it takes a long time before I can even entertain that just because it's MY thought, doesn't necessarily make it right.

So anyway, my latest pet peeve has been ignorant people. People who spout off about things and I think, "Are you kidding me?? Do you hear yourself?" And for the last little while, I have felt like it was my God given duty to set these people straight. And I get so frustrated because they don't listen!! I mean, my own kids hardly listen to me and I expect strangers on the Internet to go, "man, thanks for that, you have truly set my path straight!" (Okay, I don't really expect that but it would be nice to hear from time to time.)

But today I had an epiphany and please don't laugh because I know God has us learn things on our own schedule so we really learn it but just because y'all learned when you were five doesn't make my learning it any less special! I'm supposed to pray for people! Especially the ones that really annoy me, the ones I want to really say not nice things too. I need to give them to God in prayer because obviously, my way doesn't work as well as His does!

So...that's what I'm gonna try to do is really seriously pray about anything and everything I feel the need too. I'm not a real good prayer to start with, it's hard for me to remember to pray a lot of the time and I know that to get closer to my God, I need to take more time to talk to Him.

So, if you could, could you pray for me?

**I know this post is silly but it really was a serious revelation for me, I just had a big Duh! moment when I realized it.
***I also knew to pray for people but the concept of praying for them whenever I thought about how much they irritated me was part of my revelation.