God's Design for Oneness

This lesson can be found here.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. - Genesis 2:24

Three things that characterize a marriage:
1. Leaving your mom and dad
2. Joining your spouse
3. Becoming one

The original Hebrew word cleave means to weld or glue. That means that it is something that is put together and meant to stay together. When you weld or glue something together, it isn't a temporary bond, it's meant to replace and become a new thing.

Ruth 1:16-17
...Where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die and there I will be buried...

I am incredibly close to my parents but Chad is my first thought and priority. I followed him to Florida from Oregon without a thought of leaving my parents. It's taken us a while but I think we rely more and more on each other than we used to. I don't consider myself independent from Chad on the important stuff and if I do, I don't mean to. I really try to work together with him in all ways. One thing I have learned in my marriage is that the marriage comes first before me or Chad. You know that saying, there are three sides to every issue - yours, theirs and the truth. Well, to me, my marriage is the truth. My opinion may not count and Chad's may not count but I'll do what I have to do to make the marriage count. I don't go behind Chad's back at all. I have to be honest with him.

Proverbs 31:11-12
Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

I can say with full confidence that we live out those verses.

I try really hard not to usurp Chad's authority in front of the boys and we do discuss our parenting techniques, I give him my reasons and he gives me his. I try to always keep first and foremost in my mind that he's making them into men. I am too, but he is their main role model and I'm not a man. Neva was saying that Morgan was a really good boy and I agreed and then said that I thought Chad was too hard on him and she goes, "maybe that's why he's such a good boy." I'm so glad she said that because it's absolutely right. My boys aren't good because of just me. It's both of us that have created good kids.

As for putting Chad first before the kids, I try to do that too. The kids are gonna grow up and leave and I still want a healthy relationship with Chad when they are gone.

Your husband is your other half. Together you create a whole and that doesn't mean that either one of you is more important or anything. I love Chad and I will go out of my way every day to make him happy. Not because I have to but because I want to. I want him to look at me and know that his happiness is important to me. It's so easy to get carried away with the whole selfish outlook of "it's all about me and what about my happiness?" but I tell you, I am happier because I have a happy man. We appreciate each other and it's because we both work at it.

Dear God, help me to always put my marriage first. Help me to be the wife that You want me to be to Chad. Help me to be a good example to my boys of what a wife should be like. Thank you so much that I have a man that appreciates me and really tries to be the best husband he can be. In Jesus name, Amen.